Paranoid Billboard

The British have gone paranoid. Check out the photo of a billboard below to prove it.


Of course, you can improve the wording at this website (http://jamesholden.net/billboard/). I've attached my improvement below.

A small bug in Gmail

Just discovered a small bug in Gmail. If you activate "Always use https" under Gmail settings, you will not be able to use the "Send to" function in the Google toolbar.



The following error appears.
I am a strong advocate of https rather than http. Https encrypts any data sent through that particular site and is important to prevent data theft. More about https later...

foobar2000: A lightweight music player

I have searched everywhere for a decent music player that does not completely stall my computer just to play music. I first started out with Sonique. It was good, but the interface was not intuitive for some reason. I found it difficult to switch to different playlists because they were located in the wrong place; and it still was resource consuming.

The next option was Winamp. This was a very advanced player with so many features, that I figured that it was too complicated for me. Updating the player was like installing an operating system; and it would consume so much of memory that my computer would literally hang every time it switched to the next song. I couldn't do any other stuff if I had winamp running. I don't recommend Winamp for daily song playing although I do believe that their Shoutcast TV, Shoutcast radio and other online streaming services are very good.

Tired of the problems with the audio players that I had, I finally googled for a lightweight audio player and came across foobar2000.

foobar2000 is the least resource consuming music player on the web. It has a clean, simple, uncomplicated interface with all the functions other music players have. Although people can argue that Winamp is better because it has all the audio enhancing facilities; I say that your audio is only as good as your mp3 file and your physical speakers. The simple fact is, you just need a software to convert your mp3 files to data that can be interpreted by your speakers. Therefore, your output will only be as good as your input. Which means that if you have a 128kbps mp3 file, no matter the software you use, you will still get crappy sound.




Incidentally, foobar2000 is open source, free and is completely customizable. The original foobar2000 did not look like it does on my computer. I did some basic customization and rearranged some of the items to my preference. You can change the location of everything in the player. Although, I highly recommend reading the forums before making the changes yourself. There are also lots of downloadable customizations and plugins if you prefer. I myself feel that I have all I need with the basic player and don't feel the necessity for other plugins or skins. Try this player and I will guarantee that you will make it your basic player for all your audio files.

EDIT: foobar2000 is not open source as I mentioned in the article. The SDK is open source though. Strange! Thanks to Steve for the heads up.

How to Embed images in Gmail

Gmail is perhaps the most elegant and advanced free email services on the internet today. Google labs has made it even more flexible by allowing unbelievable customization. But the one thing that I was not able to do in Gmail was to embed images into my email messages. It's frustrating because an embedded image positioned in the right place in the body of the text has a significantly bigger impact than sending the images as attachments.

The suggestion on the internet by many people is to upload the image to a web hosting site and copy the image from there like text by dragging and highlighting the image. And then pasting it into your gmail message. But the process of selecting and copying the image is messy and very unreliable. You have to make sure not to copy any background text, tables, hyperlinks or any other doodles. If the image is the only item in the page, then it is difficult to select the image because it's difficult to know where to start dragging especially if it's an image that is bigger than the size of your screen. Also, I find that even after I have successfully copied the image, when I paste it in Gmail, the image still does not appear in the message most of the time; and I have to go back and repeat the steps until I get it right. Then I discovered a more simple and elegant solution that ALWAYS works.

You will need:
1. Google toolbar
2. An image on the internet.

I'm sure almost everyone who uses the internet has the Google toolbar. If you don't, you can stop reading this because you came to this post by accident. For the people who use the toolbar, lots of them do not activate the "Send to" button in the toolbar. Go to the Google toolbar Settings-->Click Options-->Click More-->Click Send to. That's it. You are done!



Now you need an image. If the image is not on the internet, you have to get it up there using photobucket or flickr or any image hosting site. Once you get it up, just go to that image url (see sample), click the "Send to" button and select Gmail. This will automatically embed the image into a new Gmail message. From there, you can copy it to another message or just use that message to send your email.

It's far simpler and less complicated than trying to highlight the image because this just works. This is a picture I took which has been uploaded to photobucket. Just go to this link and click the "Send to" Gmail to test this out.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y56/irfan_mailme/DSCF0421.jpg

Ta-daa!


Incidentally, the "Send to" button will add any highlighted text with images on any web page (you can highlight this post- images and all and "Send to" Gmail to see this work). It's a very cool function that I use a lot. I hope this solves the image embedding problem for all Gmail users.

Add Google dictionary to your Firefox browser

Add the dictionary search to your firefox browser simply by typing a keyword and the search item.

To add the google dictionary to your firefox browser, search for the definition of a random word (Eg: Ameliorate) using google's "define: " function.


Now, simply copy the url (Eg:http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&rlz=1B3GGGL_en___
SG215&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=define%3A+ameliorate&spell=1), go to bookmarks, click organize bookmarks, click new bookmark, and paste the url under "location".






Then search the url you just pasted for the word that you typed previously (ameliorate) and replace it with %s. (Eg: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&rlz=1B3GGGL_en
___SG215&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=define%3A+%s&spell=1). For the keyword, add a letter or word such as "d" or "dictionary" or "define"; or whatever you are comfortable with.



Click "ok" and go back to your firefox address bar to test the simple programming that you have just done.

If you typed "d" as your keyword, in your address bar, type "d ameliorate" and hit the Enter key to get the definitions of ameliorate.

By this way, you can apply it for any search you want to save for later use. All you will need is the url where you simply replace the item you searched before with %s.

The Dirty Receipt Trick

It's a new trick being used by retailers these days to prevent customers claiming damaged goods, refunds, and returns. I hereby give it the name it deserves - The dirty receipt trick.

The trick is simple. You select the items for purchase and head to the cashier. The cashier checks out the items, you pay for them and check the receipt to ensure that everything is in order and head back home. Upon reaching home, you find that the wonder broom that you bought with a 3 month warantee is broken in 3 places. You click your tongue in irritation and look for the receipt so that you could return it back to the store. Upon finding it in your jeans, you stare in horror at the condition of receipt. Blackened beyond recognition, the numbers on the receipt are no longer legible, useless for anything and certainly would not be accepted by the store.

What happened to the receipt you ask yourself? The answer is simple - dirty tricks by the retailer. The new scam is to print receipts on some weird kind of paper that when rubbed, blackens itself so that the numbers are no longer visible. The tricks works brilliantly when the customer puts the receipt into the pocket of theirs jeans or trousers. The act of walking causes the fabric to rub against the receipt thus causing it to blacken and hence saving the company from any returns or refunds that the customer might claim.

But wait, the trick doesn't end there. The paper is so cleverly designed that if by chance, you are smart enough to save the receipt until you get home and file it away safely so that no more rubbing can take place, another phenomenon occurs. The letters and numbers on the receipt start to fade for no reason at all. After a month, the letters are barely visible and again the receipt is useless for claims.

The audacity of companies to play such dirty tricks on their customers is unbelievable. Such actions should be challenged vehemently by consumer groups and be put a stop to. Unfortunately it's one thing to write about it, and a totally different thing to convert the writings to actions. I don't know if anyone else has written about this, if so, other consumers can write more articles and hopefully the issue will become big enough to challenge big companies to issue legible receipts.

Tuesday Blues!

Mondays are NOT the worst days of the week. In fact Mondays are actually pretty good days. The average Monday is the day that you meet up with your colleagues after that boring weekend. It's the day that you relax at work. It's also the day that you take time organizing your table, organizing your email, checking your favourite websites and spacing out until it's time to go home. Everyone including your boss is not in the mood to work that no one bothers you for the whole day. Whoever came up with the term "Monday Blues" is an idiot. Or maybe he just never went to work on Tuesdays. Because Tuesdays are the quintessential worst days that you can ever have in a week.

My proposal is to change the slogan to the "Tuesday Blues". Before you start having a go at me, consider your average Tuesday. You arrive to work late because you've overslept due to your body clock still working in "weekend mode". Disheveled and grumpy, you are harangued by bosses, co-workers, and even clients for work related matters. Meetings take place. Deadlines are set, and you start to panic. You realize that your entire week is destroyed because you would have to do OT to submit that report by Friday or get the sack. You work late, but after 3 hours at the computer, you realize that your efforts barely justify the hours put in and you call it a day. You come home grumbling and damning your boss to hell. Your mood is foul and your spouse decides to leave you alone for the rest of the day.

Compared to the average Tuesday, the rest of the week is pretty docile. Wednesdays and Thursdays are much better since you are now numb to the work related stress and are accustomed to the work environment again.

And Friday is a no-brainer. Everyone is happy in anticipation of the weekend; and any new work is postponed to the following week.

The cycle then repeats until you die or retire; whichever comes first. In all earnest, I really don't need to explain this. The average white collar worker, realizes the phenomenon; but sometimes we do need a reminder to call in "sick" on a Tuesday and not on the typical Monday to feel really better for the rest of the week. And that why we need to change the slogan to the "Tuesday Blues". Done!

I usually can't think of those things til later.

"I usually can't think of those things til later" That's what Horton said just after he released the tree trunk (while saying "This is where we get off!") which catapulted the vulture into a mountainside. I don't know if it's true for everyone; but I know that's true for a lot of people. They usually end up kicking themselves for days afterwards for not realizing the perfect comeback for the moment. The truth is, to be able to comeback the way you want to, takes practice, and I am sorry to say, some above average intelligence. You got to think on your feet you know. Spur of the moment stuff that'll put the guy in the spot. This means that you have to know things that the other guy doesn't. You also have to recall facts that are old, obscure and may seemingly not be relevant to the case. I guess the most important talent is the ability to identify when the conversation has crossed the boundary of "nice". Too often the victim is pushed onto the backfoot by continuing to "nice" long after the other guy has crossed the boundary. You can't please everyone, and as soon as you realize that the other guy has switched to rude or aggressive behaviour that's the moment that you need to turn yourself onto the same page. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, be prepared to make it as ugly as he is going to push it.

I have to say that some people are definitely better at "talking" than others. The natural talent is undeniably obvious as they identify ugly situations quickly and respond accordingly. They are admired because of their talent and end up doing big things later in life. Most of the great leaders fall into this category. Since there are more great leaders than ordinary people, I guess we can safely assume that most of us fall into the category of not being quick on our feet. I guess that's why the world still has enough nice people to go around.

I know that most of you guys must be thinking "You hit it right on the button pal. So what do us good guys do? What do I do when I am caught in the situation you talk about in your blog?". Well, lucky for you, I have a few methods that are guaranteed to work in those difficult situations.

Step 1: As he is pushing you back with his intimidating talk, put your hand to his face and say "Talk to the hand".
(Ideal outcome: He turns around and walks away. You turn to your admiring onlookers and bow twice to quell the ensuing applause.)
Step 2: If he doesn't turn around and walk away, he's going to blink absurdly at your reaction and come at you again with more verbal barrages. So your next step becomes quite simple. Clench fist....and POW! Right in the kisser!
(Ideal outcome: He falls flat on the ground with the crowd cheering you in the background.)
Step 3: If he didn't fall, quick turn and RUN!

There you go, 3 simple steps to punch the arrogance out of the nincompoops for the next 5 years.

Wise Tip: Just to be sure he remembers for the lesson for FULL 5 years, you might want to kick him a couple of times while he's on the ground to be absolutely certain! And if you want to make him remember for the next 10 or say 20 years, I got no objection. It's always good sense to plan for the future.

One of the coolest clips I've ever seen!

The Google Syndrome

There are many ways to get answers to questions. The traditional methods are asking parents, asking friends and asking teachers in that order. Reading a book to find the answers comes last in the list for the sole reason that human beings are lazy sloths and too much effort is required. Traditional research involved going to the library, searching through an index for "Robin Hood", then searching for the title through half an acre of books only to find that it's a 1582 page behemoth on "The Intricacies of the Plumage of a Robin's Hood", a subject that you never knew existed or would ever care about even if Robins took over the planet and killed all humans who didn't know their blessed hoods and ridiculous significances. Thus you would curse your way back to the catalog and hope that Sherwood isn't the name of the ear bones of Hamsters.

The effort involved is overwhelming and hours are spent in fruitless efforts to finding simple answers. But all that has changed with Google. The internet is useless without Google. It's like a library with no catalog. The difference between a library catalog and Google is that Google give instant access to answers without the hassle of wasting hours at the library. The system is so efficient that it beats parents, friends and teachers to take first place in the list. No more is there any need to ask anyone about anything. Just "Google it". Google can retrieve answers from simple queries such as "What is the temperature of the Sun" to an intricate detail such as "What bolt do I use to clamp a 12mm diameter aluminium plate to the web of 470x180x8.8x11 I beam". And this is precisely what the Google syndrome is all about.

The syndrome will enable you to learn all the knowledge that you can absorb in as much time as you spend in front of the "new idiot box". Although different from the old idiot box in that it involves more interaction with the machine, the fact that human contact breaks down to zero is reason enough for the classification "new idiot box". People may argue that you can join communities, networks and forums; and that you can make friends and be a human there as anywhere outside the computer. But face it. These "communities", "networks", "forums" and "friends" are just individual people in front of their screens at home basements wearing god knows what and just sitting there.

If you still can't realize it, just picture the person you are "interacting" with. He's just sitting there; in front of his computer - Squat! The point here is that even though it is possible to get ALL the answers through Google, it would just make a difference if we asked a teacher or a friend for the answers every now and then and revive some of the human interaction that is slowly being depleted by the Google syndrome. Therefore in order to contribute to the revival of human contact, the next time you need to know the "origin of life and how the universe came to be", just ask your teacher first; and if SHE doesn't know the answer, THEN try Google.

An addendum to my previous post!

In the advertising world, the word "FREE" is always in quotation marks. If there's one thing that's true in advertising, NOTHING is free if it is advertised; not even a stick of gum. There's always a catch. A catch that could cost a lot more than a stick of gum. So the next time they advertise "FREE" gum. Give them some chewed up gum as you pass by. It'll give them a whole lot more gum to distribute and you'll feel much better after your charity too!

The sincerity of advertisements

Ahhh...the Saturday Times. "Time to find some good bargains" you think. flip...flip...flip..."Hmmm....nothing yet" you mutter. Flip...Flip...Flip...."What the hell???" you raise your voice. FLIP! FLIP! FLIP! FLIP! FLIP!...."AAAAAAARRGGH...Where'd all the bargains go?" you scream.

Have the advertising agencies become so materialistic that they are unable to offer sincere advertisements to consumers? There are 2 issues to be addressed. The first is the sincerity of the advertisement and the second is the content of the advertisements. The responsibility for the former lies with the advertising agencies. While the responsibility for the latter lies in our society.

Judgment of the sincerity of advertisements are inherent in all readers. Hence the exclamation "Where'd all the bargains go?" previously. Advertisements that offer "SALE" or "SPECIAL OFFER" or "PROMOTION" immediately strike, not the "happiness" chord in our heartstrings. Instead the chord that starts tingling like a guitar string being played by Tracii Gun is the "Hold on, what's the catch" chord. Experience has taught us that there is ALWAYS a catch in the sale or promotion or what not. When we arrive at the shop, producing the ad or coupon to receive the discount or rebate, the cashier shrugs at the pronouncement, rings in the discount, adds the "Sale's tax", the "GST which is not included" and the "Price of the accessories which is also not included". Eventually, we come out feeling robbed and with little appreciation for the item purchased. And we have indeed been robbed. Conned into thinking we were receiving a deal, we were unfortunately ripped off royally right in the face.

Unfortunately, in scanning the advertisements in the paper, I can't count any that offer sincere services for the actual price. To put it more lucidly, I'd like to see an ad that advertises a product or service with the real price without the bargains or discounts or anything. I want to know how much it REALLY costs. Give me the discount after I get there. I tell you, I'd be one happy customer if I spent 20% less than I was expecting to spend on a product. I'd be so happy, I'd come back again. Why is it so difficult for advertisers to be sincere? That's what I want to know.

The second observation about the advertisements in the Saturday Times is the content of the advertisements. Adverts are not restricted to material and tangible products such as furniture, mobile phones, cars and real estate as I see in abundance in the papers today. Let it be known that advertisements can extend to non-materialistic products and services too. Seminars, talks, workshops, study courses, schools, universities, events, books etc... are literally non-existent in the colossal 240 page Saturday paper. I count only 3 advertisements that inform the public of an upcoming seminar or talk; which about sums up the choice for readers not looking to buy "The phone the world has been waiting for". The materialistic attitude of society is to blame and must be changed in order for such advertisement to re-emerge in the daily papers. It is about pursuing knowledge; NOT about passing exams. That's what needs to be remembered for any real change to occur.

And there you have it, my 2 cents on the advertisement situation in newspapers today. Television adverts have moral depraving issues...but that's a story for another day. Until next time, happy advertising to all!

The price of being late

Being early for work every morning is always a challenge for anyone who has a strict employer. In addition to the bad reputation at work, the cost of being late can be hidden as well as obvious. When I mean costs, I mean the actual money lost and not the emotional distress etcetera etcetera...

The hidden costs can be as drastic as losing your job (thousands of dollars of salary) or as minor as losing a few cents from your paycheck. The obvious costs include the actual tangible money lost on the day of being late. In my world, the cost of being late increases exponentially every minute I am late. My increase is costs is as follows:

Late by 5 minutes: 40cents on food where I have to buy breakfast at a more expensive cafeteria rather than my regular stop which is a little out of the way.
Late by 10 minutes: 40cents (food) + 1 dollar on transport where I take an additional bus to reduce the walking distance from the bus stop to my office building
Late by 15 minutes: $8.40 on taxi. And forget about breakfast...
Late by 30 minutes: $25.00. How? Called in sick. The $25.00 is payment for the Medical Certificate at the local clinic.

In truth, people know the tangible costs involved because they are felt everyday. The mind makes the effort to avoid them even though we ourselves are unaware that we are doing so. The early morning sees people rushing to work because they realize the costs involved. But they don't realize that it's an unconscious decision. I mean the brain's dead in the morning anyway. Most people are practically sleepwalking themselves to work for crying out loud. I know it because I do it. I wake up....and the next thing I know, I'm work...and I have no idea how I got there. So if this is you, rest easy as you're not alone.

Some people tend to be alright in spending the "late fees" everyday. Unfortunately, too bad for them, they're unemployed. Or they're filthy rich (lucky sunofaguns). For the rest of us who fall into the category of "Not being ok paying the late fees", this is a lot of dough. Which for me, now that I know my price for being late, means that I'm NEVER going to be late again. Then again, maybe not...

What should I do with my life? by Po Bronson

An article by Po Bronson at here that should get you thinking. Please check out the article at the above link.

There are 2 types of people....

There are 2 types of people in the world today. The people who waste time on the internet and the people who don't. The people who waste time on the internet (such as yourself) browse websites, read useless blogs and essentially waste the precious minutes of their lives watching Britney Spears drive a car (OMG she can drive! I see her driving OMG OMG OMG! I NEED to watch it again). The people who don't waste time on the internet are in the real world, the world that matters; living life the way it was meant to be lived. They are working their jobs, paying bills, having fun, meeting friends and essentially making their lives worth living.

Unfortunately, I, like the time wasters on the internet have succumbed to the addiction of the internet, which is as real as being addicted to cigarettes and alcohol. Anyway, now that I'm here, I might as well discuss the issues of this addiction.

The time wasters would while away hours in a day browsing websites and watching videos that neither enhance their knowledge nor contribute in any way to their personal enhancement. News on the internet is NOT the news pages on yahoo, msn or google. On the contrary, the most clicked news links on the web are not related to the important world events at all. The most popular "news" on the internet is Dumbledore being gay.

Dumbledore is not even a real person! I mean, why couldn't it at least be someone who lives in the real world, even if the news is as useless as his sexuality. Why did it have to be a fictitious character? Anyway, it just goes to show the type of wastage going on. In fact, the "news" is so proliferated on the net, that it is impossible to NOT encounter the news even by accident. Eventually, it's best to just click the link, satisfy your curiosity and move on.

The fact is that it's not that people don't have work other than browsing the internet. It's that they ignore other responsibilities in order to do so. Which is what makes the whole browsing of the internet a waste of time. Therefore, if browsing the net is taking up a significant part of your time in a day, please switch the computer off and go watch some TV. I know that watching television is a waste of time too, but at least it's not as addictive as the internet!

If you are using firefox and are unable to break the addiction, you can at least keep track of lost time using this convenient add on at this link:

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/1887

Tech Support

A recent conversation between my brother and Linksis' tech support proved so ludicrous that I deemed it worthy to write about it in my blog.

Too often have tech support guys complained of the technical incompetence of customers that numerous websites have been created that vividly illustrate the various idiotic antics performed by them on their computers. This example will illustrate a similar story; except with the idiot role being reversed.

My brother being technically savvy and able to solve most IT problems, rarely ever calls anyone for technical support. However, the new Linksis modem that he purchased seemed to be giving an unusual problem that even he couldn't decipher. After trying all the various solutions including resetting and reconfiguring the modem, the problem still wasn't solved. Unfortunately Linksis does not have a repair center in his country. Therefore, the only solution was to replace the modem which was still under warrantee. Reluctantly he calls the help line. The call progresses as follows:

Bro: Hello, I'm calling to report a fault in my modem model number: E6172M which is under warrantee and would like to get it replaced.
Linksis: Hello. My name is Andrea. My ID number is 04831870139J. How may I help you?
Bro: I just told you...Anyway I'm calling to report a fault with my modem model number: E6172M which is under warrantee and would like to get it replaced.
Linksis: Please tell me your modem model number Sir.
Bro (sigh): E6172M
Linksis: And you are having a problem with your modem Sir?
Bro: Yes; but it can't be fixed. I have reset and even reconfigured my modem with the same result.
Linksis: Let's try to reset the modem Sir. I will guide you through the process
Bro: aaargh.

...15 minutes later

Bro: Now are you satisfied that it is broken? I reconfigured the modem and it still does not work. We don't need to go through the reconfiguration process again.
Linksis: That is very nice sir. Have you tried reconfiguring the modem? Let's try to reconfigure the modem. I will guide you through the process.
Bro: BUT I HAVE ALREADY DONE IT! ARE YOU RETARDED?????
Linksis: You have NOT reset the modem Sir? Why don't we start from the beginning. I will guide you through the process.
Bro: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

...45 minutes later

Linksis: And are you still having the same problem Sir?
Bro: YES DAMMIT!
Linksis: Let's try something different Sir. Let's try disconnecting and reconnecting the modem. After that, let's reset and reconfigure the modem once again to make absolutely CERTAIN that the modem is faulty.
Bro: CLICK!

It was another 1 week and several phone calls with other "tech support" officers before a replacement was issued.

Needless to say, my brother never called "tech support" again.

Sarah Silverman is a poor excuse for a human being

The recent MTV Movie Awards demonstrated the level of human dignity that the world has been plunged into.

Sarah Silverman opens the show with a racist joke. Then, humiliates veteran actors and actresses and finally ridicules, insults and humiliates Paris Hilton. There's no excuse for such base behaviour. It is beneath human dignity.

Sarah Silverman continued to insult fellow actresses by referring to them as....well...watch the clip. Even if the famous Sarah Silverman uses such bad language; it is beneath my dignity to use it even to describe what she said.

The audience continued to clap her through her vicious so called "jokes", thereby endorsing and encouraging her attacks at members of the acting community. Even though the people in the audience continued to smile, their eyes indicated that the "jokes" were unwelcome and would rather have walked out than continue to listen to a person with no sense of compassion, empathy or even basic manners. Her behaviour instead demonstrated a sadistic, nasty and vile nature that sullied and depraved the entire movie awards ceremony.

What was to be a glamorous ceremony full of culture, glamour and festivities turned out ugly and disgusting after Silverman's attacks; leaving the ceremony in ruins. It would have been completely appropriate if the audience decided to leave the ceremony in disgust. However, the audience are not to blame as they too, being ill educated in the basic manners and ethics (hollywood mentality) were unable to decide what action to take in the situation.

It is important that people realize the importance of civility in society. Ethics, manners and civility are no longer taught in schools and are partly to blame for their low levels in today's world. While the media promotes, encourages and even praises bad behaviour, the people should consciously realize that it is wrong and make the effort to bring back these values into the world.

Let there be respect and dignity for everyone regardless of their race, religion, colour or status.

The Ethics of our Society

With the advancement of technology, the opportunities for the average person to steal, embezzle and commit fraud has increased tremendously. Unfortunately, opportunity is all the average person needs in order to commit a crime. Out of 100 people, 10% would be honest no matter the circumstance, while 10% would be dishonest in any situation. But the more troubling percentage is the remaining 80% who would steal whenever the opportunity presents itself. So 90% of humanity are out to rob the world at any one time.

The crux of the matter is that the ethics of our society has to dropped to such a low level that only 10 people in 100 would do the ethically right thing. Unfortunately, this is attributed to the fact that ethics are no longer taught at an early age. Conscience has to be fed through ethics education. Otherwise it deteriorates leaving a self justified criminal behind. The fact that criminals stoop to the level of justifying their crimes indicates the level of ethics inculcated in them.

Imagine that you are the manager of your store. One day, you discover that your bank has cashed cheques to a Mr John Smith. As far as you know, you did not write any cheques a John Smith. You call your bank and investigate further only to discover that John Smith is none other than your trusted cashier Ms. Emily.

You, being old school and brought up where your father's mere stare was enough to confess all and beg forgiveness from god himself, call her into your office and confront her with the evidence in order that she may show signs of repentance so that you can testify should too harsh a sentence be given out.

You: How could you do this to me? I trusted you completely.
Ms Emily (shrugs shoulders): I found the cheques on your desk and helped myself.
You: WHAT?!?!?!
Emily: Yeah. They were sitting there....and I took em.
You: WHAT?!?!?! You took em????
Emily: Yeah. Actually I deserved them.
You: WHAT?!?!?!??!
Emily: Can you please stop shouting "what" everytime I say something. Anyway, as I was saying; I deserved them. You want to know why? Because I don't have enough money for my weed. So in order to satisfy my lifestyle, I needed more money. So I deserve it.
You: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
Emily: Also, my boyfriend lost his job by stealing from his boss and he really needed some dough to get the new bike he always wanted. And I really couldn't say no to my boyfriend now could I?
You: WHAT?!?!?!?!?
Emily: Plus he's soooo cute. You can understand that can't you?
You: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Emily: Anyway I needed the extra cash for this tattoo right here. Isn't it a beauty? I got it yesterday. It only cost $500. You should get one too. I can....

(Police walk in and take her away....)

Emily: Hey Mr Policeman, you think this tattoo is cute don't you? Tell him will you....

You feel faint and grab the nearest chair for support; faith in humanity dashed to a million pieces while you wonder "Will there ever be trust again?".

Relief, Euphoria and Tortured Souls!

Hi folks,

It's been a while eh? But the break really paid off. I translated my blogging time into studying time...and my final results yesterday proved that it was the right move. I have finally graduated after 4 yrs of blood, toil, tears and sweat: to put it in the words of Winston Churchill.

As a bonus, my results were the best I've ever achieved in my 4 yrs. So in addition to feelings of relief, feelings of euphoria are also floating around in my dorm room.

Unfortunately, my juniors can't stand my company anymore, as I take every opportunity to remind them of the agony they are enduring while I bask in the glory of freedom. It really is shameless the way I shred their souls with my relentless taunting. It's like a disease, and I can't help it....teeheehee! It's not my fault actually. It's like they want me to do it. A typical conversation goes thus...

I'm walking down the street and a junior hails me....(first mistake)
Junior: Hey man, congratulations! I heard that you graduated...good work!
Me: Thanks man.
And then comes the unfortunate question that ensures their undoing...
Idiot Junior: So what plans now? (too late....)
Evil Me: Oh...I don't know. I think I'm going to have some fun! Because I can finally sleep peacefully at night without having to worry about assignments or exams or projects or anything! I tell you man....this freedom feels SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD! I mean, I wake up at 4pm and I feel no guilt. I stay up all night...and watch sooooo many movies....that I can't even remember how many I've watched.....I watched all the episodes of "Friends" in 2 nights man. By the way, have you seen the movie "Serenity"?
Idiot Junior: ....err no...I have an...
Evil Me: Never mind....it's the best film ever...You really should watch it as soon as possible. Have you watched Spiderman 3?
Idiot Junior: err...assignment...due...
Evil Me: I've watched it already....and I'm going to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3 tonight...and some others as well while I'm there.
Idiot Junior: ....3 projects....
Evil Me: And I'm also headed to Malaysia next week....do some mountain climbing, hiking etc....It's gonna be soooo much FUN!
Idiot Junior: ...mid-term....
Evil Me: And after that maybe I'll do a tour of Thailand...and Philippines...
Idiot Junior: god kill
Evil Me: and Indonesia....
Idiot Junior: me
Evil Me: and Hong Kong....
Idiot Junior: NOW!
Evil Me: and....

And +1 to my tortured soul list.
Damn it feels good to be free!

Malinga BLITZKREIG!

Malinga - Watch the best video clips here

Lasith Malinga takes 4 wickets in 4 balls for the first time in ODI history. Brilliant stuff!

PS: Watch the crowd go berserk when he takes his 4th....


Youtube has gone nuts....they removed the previous video....They better seriously rethink their priorities if they want ppl to keep using their site.

Oldies....Gooood!!

I like the oldies....I don't care if they're old. People think it unusual that I don't like the newer songs coming out. But strictly speaking, modern songs simply don't have the rhythm of the songs made years ago. Heavy metal for example, involves, in my perception, screaming at the top of the lungs. Hard rock, metal et al have extricated similar views from me.

Heavy metal fans, thinks my taste of music scary even. Although I am baffled as to why it is scary to like songs that actually rhyme. On the contrary, I am inclined to think that people who like and even appreciate music that exalts violence are scarier than the oldie listeners for obvious reasons.

The themes of heavy metal and hard rock are usually encompassed around violence, blood, gore and sex. To shy away from music so obviously morally depraving, is but the natural instinct of man. To embrace such music appeals to the baser instincts that separate man from caveman. And I would have thought that civilization has developed significantly since the dark ages to inculcate the civilized instincts deeper into the hearts of men. Not so. I find that people of the modern, tend to favour such music while retaining their modern civility in the world. Which is unusual, since music transforms the person in favour of the themes in the song. Unfortunately, embracing the themes is not an option in the modern world. Therefore, how long can a person hold out against the transformation before going crazy? Which is why I think that heavy metal etc... are scarier than listening to the rhythmic songs of the past era the transformations which can be embraced easily without committing serious crime.

Please regard the following illustration for clarity...

Heavy Metal


Oldie

And there you have it folks, the contrasting repercussions of heavy metal and oldies. So, save a life....listen to oldies!

Gspace! 2GB of cyberspace for free

Gspace is a neat extension for firefox users that enables them to use their Gmail account as external storage. Previously, people (students specifically) have used Gmail as a means of backing up data, transfering data and essentially using Gmail as external storage to be accessed at any time with a computer and an internet connection. Occasional random emails are despatched every month or so in order to keep the account active. But other than that, the account is literally "external storage".

One of the ways to use Gmail as external storage is to attach a the file to a new email and save the email as a draft. But the hassle of attaching each file to a draft seems to have caught up with Rahul Jonna who designed the concept of Gspace. I'd just like to digress a little to mention that Gspace is not affilited or endorsed by Google, and Rahul has absolved responsibility of it use. (So use it at your own risk)

Gspace has done away with the concept of attachments and utilizes the web browser as an ftp transfer tool; allowing files to be transfered with the minimum of hassle.



Some extra features include a picture viewer and MP3 player within the same window.


The speed of transfer is not that great. But one major advantage is that files greater than 10MB can be transfered due to some neat programming that breaks the file down before upload. Therefore, even huge files (within 2GB) can be transfered without being restricted by the 10MB email limit.

So far, even if it does not include the MP3 player or picture viewer, the pros of the extension become too overwhelming to ignore at least a peak at the extension website below.

Extension website at https://addons.mozilla.org/firefox/1593/

The Adventures of the Black Stallion

An old TV programme with an excellant theme song.

Kumar Sangakkara Rhetoric - Brilliant!!

An inspirational video from Youtube

The trouble with blogs!

Rarely do people realize the work and effort put into blogs by bloggers. What may start as a completely serious blog with a definite focus on a subject, so easily degenerates to rants oozing out of the writer's head. The 2 major problems in blogs nowerdays, is the inability to remain focused on the subject of the blog; and the stamina to maintain the blog by posting regularly enough to incite loyal visitors to the site.

As is evident from my postings, it is lucid that I myself lack sufficient stamina to maintain my blog. Reduced to writing fillers (this is a filler!) just so that I can post a little something on my blog to feel good enough for the next month or so. On the other hand, if I fail any of my courses and end up doing an extra semester just because I spent some of that valuable time updating my blog instead of inhaling "Material Characterization via Finite Element Indentation Simulation" (a subject slightly more enjoyable than lying down in a tub full of scissors); I know that the blog I maintain would be ditched in a heartbeat. Which is one of the reasons for the lengthy interludes between posts.

I of course can excuse myself when I rant, since my posts from the very beginning were "ranty" in nature as I chose to not focus on any specific topic for the blog. Therefore I am excused and all readers can bask in the informative drivel pouring forthwith.

And with that, I leave you to enjoy another day of absolute filler and look forward to entertaining you in the future; if I find time to squeeze in a post between the scissors and MCVFEIS.

SAAB Drivers Perform

Chek out this amazing piece of driving by the SAAB test drivers.

Franklin W Dixon does not exist!

I've just found out that the author of my favourite childhood mysteries, the Hardy Boys is just a figment of someone's imagination. You could have knocked me down with a feather when I found this out. I was that shocked.

Apparently, Franklin W Dixon was the Pen name used by Edward Stratemeyer to write the Hardy Boys series. As he was writing the series, he realized that he could not keep up with all the plots that he wanted to write. So, he assembled a few authors and gave them the job of writing the Hardy Boys mysteries, while he provided the basic outline and plot to which the mystery should be formed. Under the name of Stratemeyer Syndicate, these writers wrote the entire Hardy Boys series making it one of the most successful mystery series ever written.

It may be of interest to note that the Nancy Drew series was also a spinoff of the Stratemeyer Syndicate. Edna and Harriet Stratemeyer, the daughters of Edward Stratemeyer started off the Nancy Drew series, which has also been of immense success. The Hardy Boys casefiles has also been another successful spinoff with an emphasis on maturity in the myteries. The casefiles series often involved the Hardy's using guns and people actually dying, whereas, the regular series was not as violent as it was targeted at the younger generation.

As amazing as the fact that a great author such as Franklin W Dixon never existed was, the fact that the series was written by different writers explains a lot in terms of disparities in writing styles within the series. I remember thinking when I was in the peak of my Hardy Boys craze, "How could Franklin W Dixon write over a hundred books and not get tired at all?".

While it may be impossible (and highly improbable) that someone could write so many books without exhaustion, as proven by the Franklin W Dixon example, the impossible takes exception to one of the greatest and most widely written children authors of all time, Enid Blyton.

For more details on the history of the Hardy Boys, click here
And for a biography of Enid Blyton, click here

The Evolution of Dance

I came across this clip on the internet, which I feel would be a crime to all music lovers if I did not share this amazingly coordinated and absolutely remarkable piece of work.

Times we forgot

It's only human to forget things. All of us have at one time or another forgotten stuff that makes us angry with ourselves when we remember too late. As all married women will concede, the most irritating trait of their husbands is that however many times an item is emphasized to be bought at the supermarket, the husbands always forget. As in a recent advertisement on TV, with some modifications by myself,

Wife: We need milk for the kids, butter for next week, and Taco Sauce for today's steak dinner.
Husband (on phone closing a 1.5 million dollar deal, and wearing jacket at same time): Ok. Got it. Milk, Butter, Steak.
Wife: NO! IT'S TACO SAUCE!
Husband (phone call ended): Oh! ok...sorry dear, wasn't listening.
Wife: REMEMBER to bring the Taco Sauce.
Husband: Don't worry. I got it....Taco Sauce.

Husband (on the way to store): Taco Sauce, Taco Sauce, Taco Sauce...

The husband then buys everything, plus some extra stuff that the family will need the following week. The cashier asks him whether he needs anything else. He answers in the negative. He reaches home, and his wife pulls out the provisions, until she reaches the bottom of the bag.

Wife: Where is the Taco Sauce?
(Cold chill envelopes room)

The fact is, that however reluctant we are to admit it, all of us have been in the exact same scenario at least once in our lives. I would like to digress a little at this point to emphasize that women have also been culprits of the infamous memory lapse (Believe it or not!). But unfortunately, men are somehow brainwashed later by the Secret Agency for Women (SAW) who erase the incriminating memory from their minds.

It is also a fact that the vindicating memories are remembered lucidly by wives in times of arguments with their spouses, and used as effectively in driving home advantages resulting in 90% of such arguments swinging in favour of the sisterhood. It seems that these memories seem immune to all ideas "forgot".

Which is why, I, on behalf of the silently suffering (and cursing) masculine populace, now appeal to all of the female species that it is only human to forget; and if possible to please forget the times we (the men) forgot!

Some Good Books

Here is a compilation of some books that are, if anything, interesting reading. Some of them are ridiculously easy/entertaining reading while others are...well, also mostly entertaining reading.

Novels
The Five Find-Outers and Dog series- Enid Blyton*
The Hardy Boys series - Franklyn W Dixon*
Danny, the Champion of the World - Roald Dahl(and others by the same author including his autobiography)
Three Terms at Uplands - Angela Brazil (and others by the same author)
The Lord of the Rings - J.R.R Tolkien
The Hobbit - J.R.R Tolkien (most of his other books are boring)
The Biggles series - Captain W.E Johns
Rumpole of the Bailey - John Mortimer (and others by the same author)
Leave it to Psmith - P. G Wodehouse (and ALL others by the same author; none of his books are boring)
The Guns of Navarone - Alistair Maclean (and others by the same author)
The Labours of Hercules - Agatha Christie (and others by the same author)
The man who knew too much - G.K Chesterton (and others in the series)
The Father Brown series - G.K Chesterton
The Harry Potter Series - J. K Rowling (Although I believe that some scenes in the latter books were pretty lame)
Life of Pi - Yann Martel

Others
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
Eats Shoots and Leaves - Lynne Truss
Emily Post's Etiquette - Peggy Post
Business @** the Speed of Thought - Bill Gates
Be My Guest - Conrad Hilton
Parkinson's Law - C. Northcote Parkinson
Vignettes of the Ceylon Civil Service - M Chandrasoma***
Assignment Colombo - J.N Dixit****


I'm apologize if "The Da Vinci Code" is not in any of the lists; but it wasn't a great book anyway. If anything, I would say that it was OK. I don't understand what all the fuss is about. It was, in my opinion, good fiction that entwined facts about Leonardo Da Vinci's paintings to a notion concocted out of thin air. Kudos to Dan Brown. Frankly, I think that the publicists are the real heros here.

* Just to clarify, I don't still read Enid Blyton. Thought I'd just include it in the list because it was entertaining reading... about 8 years ago.
** The @ symbol here is not an abbreviation for "at". That's the way it is in the book.
*** An entertaining book about the Ceylon (now Sri Lanka) Civil Service in the monarchal days before independance.
**** A very political 80's history of Sri Lanka.

An amazing toolbar

It is indeed the bane of the internet today that every website offers free toolbars so that "you" are informed immediately when the url of the forums link is changed from "/forum" to "/forums". Oh! Thats important alright. After wading through the millions of useless toolbars of the internet, I "stumbled" upon the "StumbleUpon" toolbar. And until now, I have never regretted installing this particular bar. Very few toolbars have impressed me the way this has. I now have a total of 2 toolbars on my firefox browser. Namely the "Google" toolbar and the "StumbleUpon" toolbar.

The toolbar really is pretty interesting. Its basic function is to return interesting websites catered to your requirements. The toolbar first asks you to indicate the topics that you are interested in, and saves the information. After that, all you have to do is click the stumble button to literally stumble upon websites related to the topics that you indicated. Each time the button is clicked, you are directed to different websites, that you would never have thought existed in the world wide web.

Here's the link to the website of the toolbar, and I can guarantee that StumbleUpon will be one toolbar that you won't uninstall in a hurry.

StumbleUpon

Daniel Radcliffe looks Retarded!

Oh gosh! I've been trying to put my finger on what really was wrong with "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire". And I finally figured it out. The reason was because there were SO many mistakes in the movie, that you just can't single out one mistake and hate the movie thereafter. The fact that the movie had so many mistakes, was also probably the reason why most Harry Potter fans just ignored them and embraced the movie as marvellously different from the previous 3 sequels. Now, I'm not a movie critic, and I generally like movies that are well done and have interesting story lines. By well done, I mean that I don't need the movie to be an 8.0. I find that I even like movies rated 6.0 or even 5.0. Which means that I have a high tolerance for mistakes in movies. But, when I watched Harry Potter on big screen, it gave me the same feeling as though I was being repeatedly kicked in the.....

Anyway, I was really bemused as to how such a movie could get a 7.7/10 on IMBD. So, I decided to give it another chance, and watch it again (on my computer) just in case I missed some of the good parts during my wincing. And this time, I was able to actually pinpoint the mistakes in the movie. And the worst part was that I was noticing these mistakes involuntarily, which really goes to show how excruciating the movie really was.

I take the liberty to document my findings so that should any fan of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" stumble upon this blog, he/she would be enlightened and shower kudos at that movie no more.

1. Radcliffe looks RETARDED. He looks SO retarded, that he in no way fits the description of hero in the movie. Oh, he's Harry Potter alright. By that I mean that he's the perfect actor for the part and he played it beautifully in the first 3 movies. But, in this movie, he just looks retarded throughout the whole movie. Take a look at the screenshot below if you need proof.
2. Dumbledore, is a child molestor. At least thats the impression I got from the movie. I don't know if teachers are allowed to throttle students in some parts of the world. But Dumbledore, certainly was within an inch (literally) of doing the very same. Again screenshots below to prove it.























3. Discontinuities, Ridiculous entrances and exits of characters and Actors acting totally out of character - I can't re-iterate how many times these blunders have occured in the movie. The discontinuities and entrances and exits were so blatant, that even an amature director could have done better.

As an example, lets take the scene after the quiddich world cup.
The fire at the quiddich game had burnt out, and only the smouldering remains of the tents are remaining. And Harry Potter is still unconscious (Lets ignore for now the fact that he lies in the very centre of the ruins with not a single mark on him. While everything else around him is razed to the ground.) and wakes up only when the bad guy does his dark mark thing. The best part about the whole muck up is the fact that the whole gang are suddenly looking for Harry only at that specific moment, and all the "convenient" characters appear from nowhere to save Harry. Oh gosh, is the director so naive as to believe that the audience would buy that? It was like a Hindi movie, only worse, because in Hindi movies, the sudden appearances of characters usually occur in dance scenes, (where dancers suddenly jump out of nowhere and start dancing in the middle of the street) and are intentionally introduced into the movie.

There are scores of blunders in the movie that would take me all day to document. If anything, I can just bullet some of the scenes so that you can go back and watch them yourselves.
1. Hermione's character
Her's was a very angry and crying character in this movie...totally weird
Out of place in her very first scene. (waking Harry up and shouting at the top of her voice)
Out of place in the scene where she hugs Harry before he selects his dragon.
Out of place in mad-eye moody's class.
Out of place when Harry comes out of the lake.
2. Ron's character
Probably one of the best acted in the whole movie, but still with flaws.
Out of place when about to apologize to potter in the common room.
3. Dumbledore
He was just all wrong. What with the shouting, impatience, aggression and so many other qualities not associated with the dumbledore as portrayed by J.K Rowling.
4. Professor Snape
Played Snape extremely well, except for one scene where he slams the door on Harry after accusing him of stealing from his cupboard.
5. Professor McGonagal
The best played character of all. A perfect performance with no flaws whatsoever.
6. Voldemort
He started off well. But then became all messed up. He was supposed to be stately and aggressive. But it was expected for him to be aggressive in a slow evil way. Rather than impatient duelling and running about. But I would give his character a break because its his first appearance.
7. Harry Potter
His character was wrong so many times in so many scenes, that I just give up.
8. Miscellaneous
There was a ROCK BAND at the ball...Oh my god! What were the directors thinking???? ...Seriously, words fail me.
Scenes were switched suddenly. This occured so many times, that it was practically impossible to get any idea of the layout of any landscape/area by the end of the movie.

In fact, due to the characters of Harry, Dumbledore and Hermione being so messed up, the whole movie becomes a charade (leaving out the rock band, scene switching etc...). I would suggest watching this movie with the mindset you would have as you watch any other movie. The faults of the movie will become only too obvious. I got so irritated with this movie that I actually wasted time to write about it in my blog. It doesn't deserve this....I have to go.

8 Reasons why women live longer than men...

1...
2...
3...
4...

5...
6...
7...

8...
All photos were from forwarded emails...this is just a compilation.

Useless Information!

And Google has done it again. Finally with the release of the new Google desktop, we see the introduction of the "Sidebar" As useful as the sidebar is to the public, I doubt that most of us really use the information on it. Maybe I should rephrase the the above statement. What I meant to say is that, do you really want to be checking your email every 3 seconds? Or do you really want to know the latest news every 5 seconds? Or do you really want to "view your photos" everytime you glance at the sidebar? What I mean to say is...are people really that jobless to jump at the sidebar and read the latest news just because its the very latest news? Its like a competition to be the first person to click on the latest news. After clicking it, people would go like...

"HAH...I clicked on it first. I bet I'm the first one to click it in the whole world"
Then he'd PM his idiot friend on Google talk (Who'd also be red-eyed awaiting the latest news)
News clicker: "Guess who clicked on the 'Retard drowns himself' link first?"
Red-eye: "Oh NO!...not AGAIN"
News clicker: "Who's the best? YEEAAH, thats right...I'm the BEST!"
Red-eye: "I'm gonna get the next one...no matter WHAT!!"

And so it continues...
And as for the email bar. All I can say is, where's the fun in reading an email as soon as it is sent? The moment its sent, you'd receive it, and reply back within the next 30 seconds. You might as well PM him on Google talk, he's just there. Just click him and reply back...but NOOOO, you have to reply by email. Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. The point is, that people used to check their emails only when they were in the mood to; or when they had time to reply to mail. Thats why people go to all the trouble of checking their email. Its because they are excited to get new mail. They want to see who's been trying to contact them. It makes them feel important. And thats part of everyone's ego. We are all ego machines, and this ego needs to be fed by receiving email so that we feel important. So everytime an email is sent, and "Sidebar" notifies you, how can the stupid machine know when to feed your ego? It all depends on your mood and how you feel at that particular time. If the "All knowing Sidebar" is so smart, why would it pop-up with "You have received 1 New Message" when in fact you feel harrassed because your boyfriend just dumped you (by email) and you're just in the mood to kick the next bloody emailer right up to bloody Mars?

This crux of the matter is that you don't HAVE to know that you have received "One New Message" the moment you receive it. Oh Suuuure....the new technology is awesome, and everyone's downloaded the sidebar and clicking at every little thing that pops up...but all I say is, give it a little time, and then we'll see people going like, "Yeah, its ok; but I kept getting a lot of spam" or "It takes up 10% of my screen" or "I uploaded photos of me and ma gurl on the computer. But I din think it'd show when pa used the computer. And what I'm getting to say is....he saw one picture of me and ma gurl, which I get to thinking, he din approve of....Nope.... Nooooo Siiirreee... He din approve AT ALL"

What is the point of a blog?

My reason for blogging is to bring some entertainment to anyone who would care to read it. But heck, I've come across blogs where their whole lives are described to the minutest detail that you feel that yanking your hair out with a huge plier would be less painful.

And seriously, who on "EARTH" would read it? Hopefully there's life "out there" if only to read blogs like these to gain information enough to invade Earth. At least then, we'd know that the hideous blog was useful to someone/something in this universe.

I would argue that it is extremely dangerous to post so much of information on the internet. Why, a burgler need only read a victim's blog to know that the lonely bachelor lives at such and such street and leaves home at 11.29 p.m to "Club Doas" everyday in a pitiful attempt to woo a "possible wife" and comes back only at 4.30 a.m after being rejected for like the 30th time for the night where he promptly sits down at his computer and types the whole sorry episode in his blog. A burgler need only read until the part where he describes how he had "so much trouble bending down (because of the gout in his spine) to pick up the spare house key under the flower pot and couldn't get up again because his left foot suddenly decided to sleep" to know the time and place to pilfer the idiot silly.

Idiotic public blogs with photographs of family, friends, relatives, home, school, left wart, right wart, pimple 1, pimple 2 .... pimple 1483; with so much detail that even the CIA, FBI, MI5 and many others are probably just visiting your blog every few days to update the information on their databases.

What all this boils down to is...if you're gonna write a blog, make it interesting literature with as little detail of your real life as possible. And please resist the temptation to document "the ecstasy you experienced as you watched your left toenail grow for 3 weeks without blinking an eyelid". I'm sure we can expect a call from the president any moment now.

Exams...and their toll on the students of the "Alma Mater"

Its finally the time of the year when the Ol "Alma Mater" imposes its will by implementing the questionable process of "Exams" in order to test the "knowledge" of its student populace. The effects of such procedures have taken a toll on the remaining survivors of the semester. On my msn today...

- "How Great is our God - dis appointment"
- "It seems with Death incapacitated, my matricidal efforts are futile. I must do all I can to accelerate his convalescence."
- "My answers are all WRONG!!"
- "I think I was a corn in my previous life"
- "It's complex, simple"
- "Questions... do you really have to answer them?"
- "After much thought and consideration, I discovered "LIFE SUXXX"!!!"
- "Be Happy :) Cos This Life Worths Lot More Than We Realize :)"
- "I hate this time of the sem - Losing it Big time"
- "B/L qs are not easy...must finish material tonight"


Ahhhh..... it is heartening to note that the light that shines in the murky depths of this bog, is that... I am not alone!

A final word before signing out for the next 2 weeks... Good Luck.

The Horror of it all!

Horror, Horror, Horror! Thats all we see in hollywood these days. I can't understand it. What happened to good ol "casblanca"?

Now all we see in hollywood is, "The Exocist, SAW, SAW2, The Fog, House of Wax, Dark waters, Gothika, Dawn of the dead, blah blah blah.... Every damn movie is bloody scary sh**. And the worst part is, they don't even have storylines. I mean, you go to a movie get scared sh**less and come out not even knowing what the hell got you so scared.

I don't mind all the horror and all that, but what I most detest is the way people spend money to go see stupid horror movies with no storylines, continuously. I couldn't understand it at first, and suddenly, it struck me. I finally figured out why they do it. Ever notice how much they boast about the horror movie they saw the previous night? Yeah, I did. Its because they want people to think that they're brave and courageous and all that crap. Talk about boasting. This is taking it to a new level. They actually go watch the movie so that they can boast with sincerity. Me, I just boast about the movie without actually watching it. Hey, there's no story line, so it's no problem. The title generally indicates the horror causing creature/demented phycho/alien/murdering ghost etc... So its very easy to keep up a conversation without actually having seen it. A typical conversation would go like this.

Me: "Did you see the movie last night?"
Idiot who watched the movie is scared sh**less: "Yeah, it wasn't scary at all!"
Me: "Yeah, and they like call it a 'horror' movie. Sheeesh!"
Idiot: "Totally! I mean, when the alien rips the guys' head off and drinks his brains, I totally knew it was special effects"
Me: "Duuuuh!! I mean how lame is that?"
Idiot: "Yeah, that was prety lame man! And I like totally knew he was gonna do that!"
Me: "Ok man, I have to go get some sleep. Cya tomorrow!"
Idiot: "Hang on man, are you going my way?"
Me: "err...no, I don't live close to your place"
Idiot: "Well.....err....you could stay at my place today if you want... "

And guess what! Hollywood knows that there are idiots out there who do this...often! I admit, the movies would scare me as well. But I don't go watching horror movies continuously so that I'm scared half my life. An occasional horror now and then is ok. But a horror movie every week?? Thats just insane! Especially anyone who goes watching all of them. And the fact is, people do go watch all of them. Just to prove to everyone that they're not afraid. And in my opinion, thats more horrifying than watching the damned thing. My advice is, next time you want to be a hero, WALK YOU OWN DAMNED SELF HOME AT NIGHT!

Engineering Professionalism

Engineering Professionalism is the name of the new compulsory module for all budding engineers in my Uni. Since I have to take it in order to graduate, I thought, heck...lets just do it and get it over with. I thought it was ok at first; you know....a different module from the norm, with a clearer objective to what you are studying and all that jazz.

But I was wrong. Modules at my place have lots of projects. And, projects work in the following way. You give someone a topic, ask him to either research discuss or whatever...and you ask that person to write a report on it. But...BUT... you always give a guidline as to where the project should end up.

From the projects that I have done so far, my guidlines to the conclusions were as clear as the smogs on London's winter nights. So lucid were they, that I could hardly see the fronts of my outstretched hands. So many times have I fallen into the Thames that I now just stand and wait for the smog to lift(usually after the results come out) so that I can walk again.

The only module that promised a clear day was this, and then....

30% project on "End of the Petroleum Era" submit by 17th Oct. Project must relate to Engineering Professionalism.

And I'm like WTF?!?!?

What the Blo*** H*** does the End of the Petroleum Era have anything to do with Engineering Professionalism????? And I've been trying to find a connection for the past 3 weeks!! My clear day turned from sunshine to smog on my very first step. Now I'm in midstride of my first step waiting for the bloody thing to lift. I don't dare move in case my next step is into the Thames.

Engineering Professionalism...my A**. A module deviating from the norm my A**. Next time some idiot even hints that a particular module is different from the normal, I gonna shove him back into the Thames from whence he came, and make sure he stays down there.

DON'T READ THIS!

Why is it that the moment you tell someone not to do something...the person immediately does it. I mean...I'm telling you not to read this...but you are still reading it...
C'mon..stop it. I'm telling you not to!
Let it be...let not curiosity become you!
Let it go!
Stop!
Now!
I mean it...!

Sigh...What can be done? Curiosity is the victor...as always!..Still reading right? ok...fine! I guess I'd better write something so as to satify your curiosity. But let me warn you...again...stop reading!

Ok here goes...

"Once upon a time, there was a cat. And the cat was an extremely curious cat. But that I mean that the cat had a curious nature, and not that the cat was of a curious disposition that it made other cats stare at him going "Ye gods! What a curious cat!" No. It wasn't that sort of curiousity. If you know what I mean. Anyway, this cat, the curious one, not the one with the curious disposition, was taking a stroll through the kitchen. As it passed, it noticed the fire in the fireplace. As it had never seen a fire before, (being new to the scene and all that...) it took a long look at it and said "What the F*** is that?" (as we all know, cats are pretty vain creatures, and they think thay can say pretty much anything on TV or err...Internet...its all the same to them) Anyway, the stupid cat was entranced by the flames licking the black couldron and ventured to investigate the source of this enchantment. It went closer, and closer. The heat increasing with each step. Until its face was nearly touching the flames...

After that...I'm afraid the story tethers out. By the way, I've no idea what happens to the cat. I did a google search as well; but the story of how "Curiosity killed the cat" is not in existence. Weird huh!

Anyway, it wasn't my fault you read it. I told you not to.

Tata for now!