The Google Syndrome

There are many ways to get answers to questions. The traditional methods are asking parents, asking friends and asking teachers in that order. Reading a book to find the answers comes last in the list for the sole reason that human beings are lazy sloths and too much effort is required. Traditional research involved going to the library, searching through an index for "Robin Hood", then searching for the title through half an acre of books only to find that it's a 1582 page behemoth on "The Intricacies of the Plumage of a Robin's Hood", a subject that you never knew existed or would ever care about even if Robins took over the planet and killed all humans who didn't know their blessed hoods and ridiculous significances. Thus you would curse your way back to the catalog and hope that Sherwood isn't the name of the ear bones of Hamsters.

The effort involved is overwhelming and hours are spent in fruitless efforts to finding simple answers. But all that has changed with Google. The internet is useless without Google. It's like a library with no catalog. The difference between a library catalog and Google is that Google give instant access to answers without the hassle of wasting hours at the library. The system is so efficient that it beats parents, friends and teachers to take first place in the list. No more is there any need to ask anyone about anything. Just "Google it". Google can retrieve answers from simple queries such as "What is the temperature of the Sun" to an intricate detail such as "What bolt do I use to clamp a 12mm diameter aluminium plate to the web of 470x180x8.8x11 I beam". And this is precisely what the Google syndrome is all about.

The syndrome will enable you to learn all the knowledge that you can absorb in as much time as you spend in front of the "new idiot box". Although different from the old idiot box in that it involves more interaction with the machine, the fact that human contact breaks down to zero is reason enough for the classification "new idiot box". People may argue that you can join communities, networks and forums; and that you can make friends and be a human there as anywhere outside the computer. But face it. These "communities", "networks", "forums" and "friends" are just individual people in front of their screens at home basements wearing god knows what and just sitting there.

If you still can't realize it, just picture the person you are "interacting" with. He's just sitting there; in front of his computer - Squat! The point here is that even though it is possible to get ALL the answers through Google, it would just make a difference if we asked a teacher or a friend for the answers every now and then and revive some of the human interaction that is slowly being depleted by the Google syndrome. Therefore in order to contribute to the revival of human contact, the next time you need to know the "origin of life and how the universe came to be", just ask your teacher first; and if SHE doesn't know the answer, THEN try Google.

An addendum to my previous post!

In the advertising world, the word "FREE" is always in quotation marks. If there's one thing that's true in advertising, NOTHING is free if it is advertised; not even a stick of gum. There's always a catch. A catch that could cost a lot more than a stick of gum. So the next time they advertise "FREE" gum. Give them some chewed up gum as you pass by. It'll give them a whole lot more gum to distribute and you'll feel much better after your charity too!

The sincerity of advertisements

Ahhh...the Saturday Times. "Time to find some good bargains" you think. flip...flip...flip..."Hmmm....nothing yet" you mutter. Flip...Flip...Flip...."What the hell???" you raise your voice. FLIP! FLIP! FLIP! FLIP! FLIP!...."AAAAAAARRGGH...Where'd all the bargains go?" you scream.

Have the advertising agencies become so materialistic that they are unable to offer sincere advertisements to consumers? There are 2 issues to be addressed. The first is the sincerity of the advertisement and the second is the content of the advertisements. The responsibility for the former lies with the advertising agencies. While the responsibility for the latter lies in our society.

Judgment of the sincerity of advertisements are inherent in all readers. Hence the exclamation "Where'd all the bargains go?" previously. Advertisements that offer "SALE" or "SPECIAL OFFER" or "PROMOTION" immediately strike, not the "happiness" chord in our heartstrings. Instead the chord that starts tingling like a guitar string being played by Tracii Gun is the "Hold on, what's the catch" chord. Experience has taught us that there is ALWAYS a catch in the sale or promotion or what not. When we arrive at the shop, producing the ad or coupon to receive the discount or rebate, the cashier shrugs at the pronouncement, rings in the discount, adds the "Sale's tax", the "GST which is not included" and the "Price of the accessories which is also not included". Eventually, we come out feeling robbed and with little appreciation for the item purchased. And we have indeed been robbed. Conned into thinking we were receiving a deal, we were unfortunately ripped off royally right in the face.

Unfortunately, in scanning the advertisements in the paper, I can't count any that offer sincere services for the actual price. To put it more lucidly, I'd like to see an ad that advertises a product or service with the real price without the bargains or discounts or anything. I want to know how much it REALLY costs. Give me the discount after I get there. I tell you, I'd be one happy customer if I spent 20% less than I was expecting to spend on a product. I'd be so happy, I'd come back again. Why is it so difficult for advertisers to be sincere? That's what I want to know.

The second observation about the advertisements in the Saturday Times is the content of the advertisements. Adverts are not restricted to material and tangible products such as furniture, mobile phones, cars and real estate as I see in abundance in the papers today. Let it be known that advertisements can extend to non-materialistic products and services too. Seminars, talks, workshops, study courses, schools, universities, events, books etc... are literally non-existent in the colossal 240 page Saturday paper. I count only 3 advertisements that inform the public of an upcoming seminar or talk; which about sums up the choice for readers not looking to buy "The phone the world has been waiting for". The materialistic attitude of society is to blame and must be changed in order for such advertisement to re-emerge in the daily papers. It is about pursuing knowledge; NOT about passing exams. That's what needs to be remembered for any real change to occur.

And there you have it, my 2 cents on the advertisement situation in newspapers today. Television adverts have moral depraving issues...but that's a story for another day. Until next time, happy advertising to all!

The price of being late

Being early for work every morning is always a challenge for anyone who has a strict employer. In addition to the bad reputation at work, the cost of being late can be hidden as well as obvious. When I mean costs, I mean the actual money lost and not the emotional distress etcetera etcetera...

The hidden costs can be as drastic as losing your job (thousands of dollars of salary) or as minor as losing a few cents from your paycheck. The obvious costs include the actual tangible money lost on the day of being late. In my world, the cost of being late increases exponentially every minute I am late. My increase is costs is as follows:

Late by 5 minutes: 40cents on food where I have to buy breakfast at a more expensive cafeteria rather than my regular stop which is a little out of the way.
Late by 10 minutes: 40cents (food) + 1 dollar on transport where I take an additional bus to reduce the walking distance from the bus stop to my office building
Late by 15 minutes: $8.40 on taxi. And forget about breakfast...
Late by 30 minutes: $25.00. How? Called in sick. The $25.00 is payment for the Medical Certificate at the local clinic.

In truth, people know the tangible costs involved because they are felt everyday. The mind makes the effort to avoid them even though we ourselves are unaware that we are doing so. The early morning sees people rushing to work because they realize the costs involved. But they don't realize that it's an unconscious decision. I mean the brain's dead in the morning anyway. Most people are practically sleepwalking themselves to work for crying out loud. I know it because I do it. I wake up....and the next thing I know, I'm work...and I have no idea how I got there. So if this is you, rest easy as you're not alone.

Some people tend to be alright in spending the "late fees" everyday. Unfortunately, too bad for them, they're unemployed. Or they're filthy rich (lucky sunofaguns). For the rest of us who fall into the category of "Not being ok paying the late fees", this is a lot of dough. Which for me, now that I know my price for being late, means that I'm NEVER going to be late again. Then again, maybe not...