The Google Syndrome

There are many ways to get answers to questions. The traditional methods are asking parents, asking friends and asking teachers in that order. Reading a book to find the answers comes last in the list for the sole reason that human beings are lazy sloths and too much effort is required. Traditional research involved going to the library, searching through an index for "Robin Hood", then searching for the title through half an acre of books only to find that it's a 1582 page behemoth on "The Intricacies of the Plumage of a Robin's Hood", a subject that you never knew existed or would ever care about even if Robins took over the planet and killed all humans who didn't know their blessed hoods and ridiculous significances. Thus you would curse your way back to the catalog and hope that Sherwood isn't the name of the ear bones of Hamsters.

The effort involved is overwhelming and hours are spent in fruitless efforts to finding simple answers. But all that has changed with Google. The internet is useless without Google. It's like a library with no catalog. The difference between a library catalog and Google is that Google give instant access to answers without the hassle of wasting hours at the library. The system is so efficient that it beats parents, friends and teachers to take first place in the list. No more is there any need to ask anyone about anything. Just "Google it". Google can retrieve answers from simple queries such as "What is the temperature of the Sun" to an intricate detail such as "What bolt do I use to clamp a 12mm diameter aluminium plate to the web of 470x180x8.8x11 I beam". And this is precisely what the Google syndrome is all about.

The syndrome will enable you to learn all the knowledge that you can absorb in as much time as you spend in front of the "new idiot box". Although different from the old idiot box in that it involves more interaction with the machine, the fact that human contact breaks down to zero is reason enough for the classification "new idiot box". People may argue that you can join communities, networks and forums; and that you can make friends and be a human there as anywhere outside the computer. But face it. These "communities", "networks", "forums" and "friends" are just individual people in front of their screens at home basements wearing god knows what and just sitting there.

If you still can't realize it, just picture the person you are "interacting" with. He's just sitting there; in front of his computer - Squat! The point here is that even though it is possible to get ALL the answers through Google, it would just make a difference if we asked a teacher or a friend for the answers every now and then and revive some of the human interaction that is slowly being depleted by the Google syndrome. Therefore in order to contribute to the revival of human contact, the next time you need to know the "origin of life and how the universe came to be", just ask your teacher first; and if SHE doesn't know the answer, THEN try Google.

An addendum to my previous post!

In the advertising world, the word "FREE" is always in quotation marks. If there's one thing that's true in advertising, NOTHING is free if it is advertised; not even a stick of gum. There's always a catch. A catch that could cost a lot more than a stick of gum. So the next time they advertise "FREE" gum. Give them some chewed up gum as you pass by. It'll give them a whole lot more gum to distribute and you'll feel much better after your charity too!

The sincerity of advertisements

Ahhh...the Saturday Times. "Time to find some good bargains" you think. flip...flip...flip..."Hmmm....nothing yet" you mutter. Flip...Flip...Flip...."What the hell???" you raise your voice. FLIP! FLIP! FLIP! FLIP! FLIP!...."AAAAAAARRGGH...Where'd all the bargains go?" you scream.

Have the advertising agencies become so materialistic that they are unable to offer sincere advertisements to consumers? There are 2 issues to be addressed. The first is the sincerity of the advertisement and the second is the content of the advertisements. The responsibility for the former lies with the advertising agencies. While the responsibility for the latter lies in our society.

Judgment of the sincerity of advertisements are inherent in all readers. Hence the exclamation "Where'd all the bargains go?" previously. Advertisements that offer "SALE" or "SPECIAL OFFER" or "PROMOTION" immediately strike, not the "happiness" chord in our heartstrings. Instead the chord that starts tingling like a guitar string being played by Tracii Gun is the "Hold on, what's the catch" chord. Experience has taught us that there is ALWAYS a catch in the sale or promotion or what not. When we arrive at the shop, producing the ad or coupon to receive the discount or rebate, the cashier shrugs at the pronouncement, rings in the discount, adds the "Sale's tax", the "GST which is not included" and the "Price of the accessories which is also not included". Eventually, we come out feeling robbed and with little appreciation for the item purchased. And we have indeed been robbed. Conned into thinking we were receiving a deal, we were unfortunately ripped off royally right in the face.

Unfortunately, in scanning the advertisements in the paper, I can't count any that offer sincere services for the actual price. To put it more lucidly, I'd like to see an ad that advertises a product or service with the real price without the bargains or discounts or anything. I want to know how much it REALLY costs. Give me the discount after I get there. I tell you, I'd be one happy customer if I spent 20% less than I was expecting to spend on a product. I'd be so happy, I'd come back again. Why is it so difficult for advertisers to be sincere? That's what I want to know.

The second observation about the advertisements in the Saturday Times is the content of the advertisements. Adverts are not restricted to material and tangible products such as furniture, mobile phones, cars and real estate as I see in abundance in the papers today. Let it be known that advertisements can extend to non-materialistic products and services too. Seminars, talks, workshops, study courses, schools, universities, events, books etc... are literally non-existent in the colossal 240 page Saturday paper. I count only 3 advertisements that inform the public of an upcoming seminar or talk; which about sums up the choice for readers not looking to buy "The phone the world has been waiting for". The materialistic attitude of society is to blame and must be changed in order for such advertisement to re-emerge in the daily papers. It is about pursuing knowledge; NOT about passing exams. That's what needs to be remembered for any real change to occur.

And there you have it, my 2 cents on the advertisement situation in newspapers today. Television adverts have moral depraving issues...but that's a story for another day. Until next time, happy advertising to all!

The price of being late

Being early for work every morning is always a challenge for anyone who has a strict employer. In addition to the bad reputation at work, the cost of being late can be hidden as well as obvious. When I mean costs, I mean the actual money lost and not the emotional distress etcetera etcetera...

The hidden costs can be as drastic as losing your job (thousands of dollars of salary) or as minor as losing a few cents from your paycheck. The obvious costs include the actual tangible money lost on the day of being late. In my world, the cost of being late increases exponentially every minute I am late. My increase is costs is as follows:

Late by 5 minutes: 40cents on food where I have to buy breakfast at a more expensive cafeteria rather than my regular stop which is a little out of the way.
Late by 10 minutes: 40cents (food) + 1 dollar on transport where I take an additional bus to reduce the walking distance from the bus stop to my office building
Late by 15 minutes: $8.40 on taxi. And forget about breakfast...
Late by 30 minutes: $25.00. How? Called in sick. The $25.00 is payment for the Medical Certificate at the local clinic.

In truth, people know the tangible costs involved because they are felt everyday. The mind makes the effort to avoid them even though we ourselves are unaware that we are doing so. The early morning sees people rushing to work because they realize the costs involved. But they don't realize that it's an unconscious decision. I mean the brain's dead in the morning anyway. Most people are practically sleepwalking themselves to work for crying out loud. I know it because I do it. I wake up....and the next thing I know, I'm work...and I have no idea how I got there. So if this is you, rest easy as you're not alone.

Some people tend to be alright in spending the "late fees" everyday. Unfortunately, too bad for them, they're unemployed. Or they're filthy rich (lucky sunofaguns). For the rest of us who fall into the category of "Not being ok paying the late fees", this is a lot of dough. Which for me, now that I know my price for being late, means that I'm NEVER going to be late again. Then again, maybe not...

What should I do with my life? by Po Bronson

An article by Po Bronson at here that should get you thinking. Please check out the article at the above link.

There are 2 types of people....

There are 2 types of people in the world today. The people who waste time on the internet and the people who don't. The people who waste time on the internet (such as yourself) browse websites, read useless blogs and essentially waste the precious minutes of their lives watching Britney Spears drive a car (OMG she can drive! I see her driving OMG OMG OMG! I NEED to watch it again). The people who don't waste time on the internet are in the real world, the world that matters; living life the way it was meant to be lived. They are working their jobs, paying bills, having fun, meeting friends and essentially making their lives worth living.

Unfortunately, I, like the time wasters on the internet have succumbed to the addiction of the internet, which is as real as being addicted to cigarettes and alcohol. Anyway, now that I'm here, I might as well discuss the issues of this addiction.

The time wasters would while away hours in a day browsing websites and watching videos that neither enhance their knowledge nor contribute in any way to their personal enhancement. News on the internet is NOT the news pages on yahoo, msn or google. On the contrary, the most clicked news links on the web are not related to the important world events at all. The most popular "news" on the internet is Dumbledore being gay.

Dumbledore is not even a real person! I mean, why couldn't it at least be someone who lives in the real world, even if the news is as useless as his sexuality. Why did it have to be a fictitious character? Anyway, it just goes to show the type of wastage going on. In fact, the "news" is so proliferated on the net, that it is impossible to NOT encounter the news even by accident. Eventually, it's best to just click the link, satisfy your curiosity and move on.

The fact is that it's not that people don't have work other than browsing the internet. It's that they ignore other responsibilities in order to do so. Which is what makes the whole browsing of the internet a waste of time. Therefore, if browsing the net is taking up a significant part of your time in a day, please switch the computer off and go watch some TV. I know that watching television is a waste of time too, but at least it's not as addictive as the internet!

If you are using firefox and are unable to break the addiction, you can at least keep track of lost time using this convenient add on at this link:

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/1887

Tech Support

A recent conversation between my brother and Linksis' tech support proved so ludicrous that I deemed it worthy to write about it in my blog.

Too often have tech support guys complained of the technical incompetence of customers that numerous websites have been created that vividly illustrate the various idiotic antics performed by them on their computers. This example will illustrate a similar story; except with the idiot role being reversed.

My brother being technically savvy and able to solve most IT problems, rarely ever calls anyone for technical support. However, the new Linksis modem that he purchased seemed to be giving an unusual problem that even he couldn't decipher. After trying all the various solutions including resetting and reconfiguring the modem, the problem still wasn't solved. Unfortunately Linksis does not have a repair center in his country. Therefore, the only solution was to replace the modem which was still under warrantee. Reluctantly he calls the help line. The call progresses as follows:

Bro: Hello, I'm calling to report a fault in my modem model number: E6172M which is under warrantee and would like to get it replaced.
Linksis: Hello. My name is Andrea. My ID number is 04831870139J. How may I help you?
Bro: I just told you...Anyway I'm calling to report a fault with my modem model number: E6172M which is under warrantee and would like to get it replaced.
Linksis: Please tell me your modem model number Sir.
Bro (sigh): E6172M
Linksis: And you are having a problem with your modem Sir?
Bro: Yes; but it can't be fixed. I have reset and even reconfigured my modem with the same result.
Linksis: Let's try to reset the modem Sir. I will guide you through the process
Bro: aaargh.

...15 minutes later

Bro: Now are you satisfied that it is broken? I reconfigured the modem and it still does not work. We don't need to go through the reconfiguration process again.
Linksis: That is very nice sir. Have you tried reconfiguring the modem? Let's try to reconfigure the modem. I will guide you through the process.
Bro: BUT I HAVE ALREADY DONE IT! ARE YOU RETARDED?????
Linksis: You have NOT reset the modem Sir? Why don't we start from the beginning. I will guide you through the process.
Bro: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

...45 minutes later

Linksis: And are you still having the same problem Sir?
Bro: YES DAMMIT!
Linksis: Let's try something different Sir. Let's try disconnecting and reconnecting the modem. After that, let's reset and reconfigure the modem once again to make absolutely CERTAIN that the modem is faulty.
Bro: CLICK!

It was another 1 week and several phone calls with other "tech support" officers before a replacement was issued.

Needless to say, my brother never called "tech support" again.

Sarah Silverman is a poor excuse for a human being

The recent MTV Movie Awards demonstrated the level of human dignity that the world has been plunged into.

Sarah Silverman opens the show with a racist joke. Then, humiliates veteran actors and actresses and finally ridicules, insults and humiliates Paris Hilton. There's no excuse for such base behaviour. It is beneath human dignity.

Sarah Silverman continued to insult fellow actresses by referring to them as....well...watch the clip. Even if the famous Sarah Silverman uses such bad language; it is beneath my dignity to use it even to describe what she said.

The audience continued to clap her through her vicious so called "jokes", thereby endorsing and encouraging her attacks at members of the acting community. Even though the people in the audience continued to smile, their eyes indicated that the "jokes" were unwelcome and would rather have walked out than continue to listen to a person with no sense of compassion, empathy or even basic manners. Her behaviour instead demonstrated a sadistic, nasty and vile nature that sullied and depraved the entire movie awards ceremony.

What was to be a glamorous ceremony full of culture, glamour and festivities turned out ugly and disgusting after Silverman's attacks; leaving the ceremony in ruins. It would have been completely appropriate if the audience decided to leave the ceremony in disgust. However, the audience are not to blame as they too, being ill educated in the basic manners and ethics (hollywood mentality) were unable to decide what action to take in the situation.

It is important that people realize the importance of civility in society. Ethics, manners and civility are no longer taught in schools and are partly to blame for their low levels in today's world. While the media promotes, encourages and even praises bad behaviour, the people should consciously realize that it is wrong and make the effort to bring back these values into the world.

Let there be respect and dignity for everyone regardless of their race, religion, colour or status.

The Ethics of our Society

With the advancement of technology, the opportunities for the average person to steal, embezzle and commit fraud has increased tremendously. Unfortunately, opportunity is all the average person needs in order to commit a crime. Out of 100 people, 10% would be honest no matter the circumstance, while 10% would be dishonest in any situation. But the more troubling percentage is the remaining 80% who would steal whenever the opportunity presents itself. So 90% of humanity are out to rob the world at any one time.

The crux of the matter is that the ethics of our society has to dropped to such a low level that only 10 people in 100 would do the ethically right thing. Unfortunately, this is attributed to the fact that ethics are no longer taught at an early age. Conscience has to be fed through ethics education. Otherwise it deteriorates leaving a self justified criminal behind. The fact that criminals stoop to the level of justifying their crimes indicates the level of ethics inculcated in them.

Imagine that you are the manager of your store. One day, you discover that your bank has cashed cheques to a Mr John Smith. As far as you know, you did not write any cheques a John Smith. You call your bank and investigate further only to discover that John Smith is none other than your trusted cashier Ms. Emily.

You, being old school and brought up where your father's mere stare was enough to confess all and beg forgiveness from god himself, call her into your office and confront her with the evidence in order that she may show signs of repentance so that you can testify should too harsh a sentence be given out.

You: How could you do this to me? I trusted you completely.
Ms Emily (shrugs shoulders): I found the cheques on your desk and helped myself.
You: WHAT?!?!?!
Emily: Yeah. They were sitting there....and I took em.
You: WHAT?!?!?! You took em????
Emily: Yeah. Actually I deserved them.
You: WHAT?!?!?!??!
Emily: Can you please stop shouting "what" everytime I say something. Anyway, as I was saying; I deserved them. You want to know why? Because I don't have enough money for my weed. So in order to satisfy my lifestyle, I needed more money. So I deserve it.
You: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
Emily: Also, my boyfriend lost his job by stealing from his boss and he really needed some dough to get the new bike he always wanted. And I really couldn't say no to my boyfriend now could I?
You: WHAT?!?!?!?!?
Emily: Plus he's soooo cute. You can understand that can't you?
You: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Emily: Anyway I needed the extra cash for this tattoo right here. Isn't it a beauty? I got it yesterday. It only cost $500. You should get one too. I can....

(Police walk in and take her away....)

Emily: Hey Mr Policeman, you think this tattoo is cute don't you? Tell him will you....

You feel faint and grab the nearest chair for support; faith in humanity dashed to a million pieces while you wonder "Will there ever be trust again?".

Relief, Euphoria and Tortured Souls!

Hi folks,

It's been a while eh? But the break really paid off. I translated my blogging time into studying time...and my final results yesterday proved that it was the right move. I have finally graduated after 4 yrs of blood, toil, tears and sweat: to put it in the words of Winston Churchill.

As a bonus, my results were the best I've ever achieved in my 4 yrs. So in addition to feelings of relief, feelings of euphoria are also floating around in my dorm room.

Unfortunately, my juniors can't stand my company anymore, as I take every opportunity to remind them of the agony they are enduring while I bask in the glory of freedom. It really is shameless the way I shred their souls with my relentless taunting. It's like a disease, and I can't help it....teeheehee! It's not my fault actually. It's like they want me to do it. A typical conversation goes thus...

I'm walking down the street and a junior hails me....(first mistake)
Junior: Hey man, congratulations! I heard that you graduated...good work!
Me: Thanks man.
And then comes the unfortunate question that ensures their undoing...
Idiot Junior: So what plans now? (too late....)
Evil Me: Oh...I don't know. I think I'm going to have some fun! Because I can finally sleep peacefully at night without having to worry about assignments or exams or projects or anything! I tell you man....this freedom feels SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD! I mean, I wake up at 4pm and I feel no guilt. I stay up all night...and watch sooooo many movies....that I can't even remember how many I've watched.....I watched all the episodes of "Friends" in 2 nights man. By the way, have you seen the movie "Serenity"?
Idiot Junior: ....err no...I have an...
Evil Me: Never mind....it's the best film ever...You really should watch it as soon as possible. Have you watched Spiderman 3?
Idiot Junior: err...assignment...due...
Evil Me: I've watched it already....and I'm going to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3 tonight...and some others as well while I'm there.
Idiot Junior: ....3 projects....
Evil Me: And I'm also headed to Malaysia next week....do some mountain climbing, hiking etc....It's gonna be soooo much FUN!
Idiot Junior: ...mid-term....
Evil Me: And after that maybe I'll do a tour of Thailand...and Philippines...
Idiot Junior: god kill
Evil Me: and Indonesia....
Idiot Junior: me
Evil Me: and Hong Kong....
Idiot Junior: NOW!
Evil Me: and....

And +1 to my tortured soul list.
Damn it feels good to be free!

Malinga BLITZKREIG!

Malinga - Watch the best video clips here

Lasith Malinga takes 4 wickets in 4 balls for the first time in ODI history. Brilliant stuff!

PS: Watch the crowd go berserk when he takes his 4th....


Youtube has gone nuts....they removed the previous video....They better seriously rethink their priorities if they want ppl to keep using their site.

Oldies....Gooood!!

I like the oldies....I don't care if they're old. People think it unusual that I don't like the newer songs coming out. But strictly speaking, modern songs simply don't have the rhythm of the songs made years ago. Heavy metal for example, involves, in my perception, screaming at the top of the lungs. Hard rock, metal et al have extricated similar views from me.

Heavy metal fans, thinks my taste of music scary even. Although I am baffled as to why it is scary to like songs that actually rhyme. On the contrary, I am inclined to think that people who like and even appreciate music that exalts violence are scarier than the oldie listeners for obvious reasons.

The themes of heavy metal and hard rock are usually encompassed around violence, blood, gore and sex. To shy away from music so obviously morally depraving, is but the natural instinct of man. To embrace such music appeals to the baser instincts that separate man from caveman. And I would have thought that civilization has developed significantly since the dark ages to inculcate the civilized instincts deeper into the hearts of men. Not so. I find that people of the modern, tend to favour such music while retaining their modern civility in the world. Which is unusual, since music transforms the person in favour of the themes in the song. Unfortunately, embracing the themes is not an option in the modern world. Therefore, how long can a person hold out against the transformation before going crazy? Which is why I think that heavy metal etc... are scarier than listening to the rhythmic songs of the past era the transformations which can be embraced easily without committing serious crime.

Please regard the following illustration for clarity...

Heavy Metal


Oldie

And there you have it folks, the contrasting repercussions of heavy metal and oldies. So, save a life....listen to oldies!